Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"Until you have a son of your own... you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass something good and hopeful into the hands of his son. And you will never know the heartbreak of the fathers who are haunted by the personal demons that keep them from being the men they want their sons to be." ~ Kent Nerburn

It’s about quarter after one A.M. here. I’m settling in and channel surfing - flipping back and forth between the various night time t.v shows before nodding off into that state of unconsciousness when the world seems to be temporarily suspended.

I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that I will run into the normal news broadcasts, bad movies, and late night talk shows when I came across CBS’s The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I like the show and watch it, in whole or in part, somewhat regularly so I stopped to watch Craig’s monologue. He’s normally a funny guy and I find that it’s better to go to sleep watching something that is not going to be to heavy handed anyway.

Well, it seems that Mr. Ferguson’s father has recently passed away. This was the subject of his monologue and entire show... dealing with the loss of his father. He mentioned the many memories he had of his father from growing up - the advise that his dad gave him that seemed even funny to him and his brother at the time (Job satisfaction - you can be anything you want to be as long as you like what your doing). He mentioned letters of commendation his dad had received, and how his dad was a man of few words yet it was understood that he loved him. There was such a genuine love, and feeling of loss that you could hear in Craig’s voice and see in his face.

This got me thinking about my own Dad and relationship with him. It got me thinking how my Dad and I really have a great relationship, but I never really told him how incredibly amazing of a man I think he is. He has overcome so many things in his life and not only never complained, but always seemed to look on the brighter side of his situation. My Dad was wounded fighting for his country. Wasn’t supposed to be able to walk after that, but had such a determination that he not only walked he ran a marathon some years after.

My Dad is a retired police officer. That would get respect from most in and of itself, but he was not a typical police officer. He always looked out for the little guy. He was always there to do the right thing, even when other police offers may not have been.

In spite of the fact that he grew up in one of the poorest cities in the United States, has been shot and blown up on more than one occasion (in the war), seen so much suffering within his job and even his own family (he lost two sisters, and more than a few friends at young ages) he always seems to be happy. The big joke with my siblings and myself is that you know when my Dad is angry because he says something like “Doggonit!” He never swears, ever.

You see? Even though he would have the excuse to be defeated, angry, bitter, and whatever else - he refuses to be that way. My Dad is a kind, determined, honest man who has impacted so many people with his positive outlook on life I can’t even count. I am his number one fan and he is my hero. I respect and love my dad more than I can say, and I hope that I can live the rest of my life being half the man he is.

Thanks Dad ~ C8


Blogger zengirl said...

Please tell your father what you wrote, or if you can't, print it out and give it to him in a card. My dad, also a retired police officer and an incredible man, died too soon, too young four years ago and I will never have the opportunity to tell him anything again. I can assure you it is something you will never regret and it could not merely make his day, but more than likely make his whole life seem worth having lived.

4:51 PM  

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